Midnight Snacks at the Hattori Residence
by Bellerophone
Summary: The Kaitou Kid likes chocolate ice cream...
1. The setup

One o'clock in the morning. Heiji was hungry.

He flopped onto his stomach, pressed his face into his pillow, then cursed and rolled onto the floor with a muffled thud. He deserved a midnight snack. Hadn't he cracked one of the Kaitou Kid's riddle notes just that afternoon? Besides Kudou and that British what's-his-name, how many other people could boast that?

…But he hadn't been allowed to pursue Kid in person that night, Heiji thought with a huff, scowling sleepily as he stumbled down the stairs to the kitchen. _School night my ass, Dad!_

That hadn't gone over too well with the folks.

Heiji stomped angrily at the stairs with his socked feet, slipped, and fell the last few steps into the kitchen on his rear.

"_Daaaaam—"_

The kitchen was not empty.

Someone had his head in the Hattori freezer, someone with a white cape and a tuxedo poignantly reminiscent of the costume that had dominated the afternoon news.

A white top hat poked out over the freezer door, and then a very familiar boy's face sporting a monocle looked up, a container of chocolate ice cream in one gloved hand and a spoon in his mouth.

Heiji stared.

1


	2. Ending version 1

_Midnight Snacks: Version 1_

Heiji stared.

"Uh…" The Kaitou Kid swallowed thickly, spoon still in his mouth. "Hi there."

Heiji continued to gape for a moment, then solemnly leaned to the side and bashed his head against the door frame.

The Kaitou Kid winced, scooping another spoonful of ice cream out of the carton. "Ouch," he said sympathetically.

Heiji squinted back at him, blinking dazedly.

Nope, the Kid was definitely still there, standing by his open fridge and eating his ice cream. In fact, now there were three Kids.

The Kid looked around edgily, then put on a gleeful, friendly grin and held out the carton of ice cream.

"Want some?"

Heiji finally spoke. "I locked all the doors. Those windows are still locked. There's no way you fit through the dog door." A frown creased his sleepy face. "How the _hell_ did you get in here!"

The Kid made frantic shushing noises with his free hand, the spoon still stuck in his mouth. "Not so loud! You'll wake your mother up!"

"My dad's going to arrest you," Heiji said.

"Your dad already tried," the Kid said with a touch of pride. "I say again, do you want ice cream? 'Cause I'm going to finish it."

"Where is my dad?" Heiji demanded.

"Trying to explain to the former owner of the Angel Breath Diamond why her entire first floor is covered in water balloons, banana peels, and mouse traps."

Heiji's anger evaporated. "_What?"_

The Kid slurped a bit more ice cream into his mouth. "One of my more elaborate heists."

"Banana peels?" Hieji repeated incredulously.

"I got hungry, and then it was a good idea…" Kid shrugged. "Speaking of which, a banana split sounds good right now, doesn't it?"

Heiji heaved himself to his feet. "Why are you here?"

Kid shrugged, swallowing another spoonful. "Last place they'd look."

"You're the Kaitou Kid."

"And you're the nuisance who figured out my note this afternoon," Kid said conversationally, extending his free hand. "Pleased to meet you."

Heiji stared at the proffered hand, then up to the blue eyes watching him from behind the monocle. He took a deep breath.

"_GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"_

He lunged at the Kid, who backpedaled, swinging the fridge door around to slam Heiji in the stomach. With a loud "_Oof!"_ Heiji flipped right over the door and landed hard on his back. He lifted his head but the closing fridge blindsided him again. Cursing, Heiji leaped to his feet in an instant and charged through the doorway—

The next room was already empty.

"DAMN!"

…

Hattori Shizuka stumbled down the stairs of the kitchen two minutes later to find her son seated at the kitchen table hunched over a bowl. "Hei-_chan_?" she said groggily. "What was all that shouting?"

Heiji scooped a generous spoonful of chocolate banana split into his mouth. "…It was nothing, Mom."

Just then, the front door swung open and Hattori Hanzo stalked in. "I never want to see another banana for the rest of my life!"

Heiji swallowed guiltily, curling a protective arm around his bowl. "Hey there, Dad… so did you catch Kid?"

2


	3. Ending version 2

_So the backstory here is that my cousin and I joke about stealing ice cream a lot. She requested a story in which Kaito steals some from Heiji, and I wrote the story labled 'version 1.' However, she had wanted one in which Heiji and Kaito were cousins, or at least friends. So I rewrote the end, and the result is…_

_Midnight Snacks: Version 2_

Heiji stared.

"Uh…" The Kaitou Kid swallowed thickly, spoon still in his mouth. "Hi there, Hattori."

"Kuro—I mean K-K-Ki—Cuz!" Heiji stammered, scrambling to his feet. "What are you doing here?"

The Kid scooped another spoonful of ice cream from the carton. "Hiding from the police."

"At the Chief Inspector's house?"

"Last place they'd look," Kid shrugged. "Hey, where were you at the heist tonight? I was looking out for you."

"My dad wouldn't let me come," Heiji grumbled, eyeing the ice cream. "School night."

Kid snorted into the carton, then quickly covered it with a cough. "Ouch," he said sympathetically.

"Shut up! Did you just snort into the ice cream?"

"No."

"That's Kazuha's favorite flavor, idiot. She's going to kill you."

"You mean she's going to kill you," Kid said happily, spoon in his mouth. "Who'd believe that the Kaitou Kid broke into your house and blew his nose in your ice cream?"

Heiji sputtered incoherently. "O-Oi…"

"And anyway," the Kid said sagely, removing the spoon from his mouth and shaking it at Heiji like an admonishing finger, "you don't really have a healthy relationship with Kazuha-chan, do you?"

"Wh—What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Only that you don't really act like a normal couple."

"That's 'cause we aren't a couple."

"Kazuha thinks you are."

"What?"

"Yup." Kid scraped some ice cream off the lid of the carton. "After you took her to Tropical Land and passed up a murder mystery to spend the day with her, she thinks it's finally official."

"Official—she handcuffed me to her! I had no choice! Who told you this?"

"Aoko," said Kid. "She heard it from Kazuha-chan_._ And she's been giving me a lot of grief about it too. If I wasn't such a gentleman— I'd totally blame you."

Heiji swelled with fury—then sighed and plopped himself down at the kitchen table. "Hey, gimme some ice cream."

Kid pulled the carton away. "Dude, get your own."

Heiji raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Oh…" Kid looked from the ice cream to Heiji with wide, over-innocent blue eyes. He slowly removed the spoon from his mouth again.

"Bye!"

And he disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"H-Hey, wait! Kuroba! Gimme back Kazuha's—I mean _my!_ Gimme back _my_ ice cream! KUROBA!"

2


End file.
